He’s either not that interested (unless you’re wearing PVC or a nurse’s outfit) or he’s popping Viagra like Smarties and you’re up all night grappling with a wrinkly old bloke who thinks he’s Leonardo Di Caprio. No, he’d broken his front tooth and couldn’t bear to see her until he’d had it replaced.
Monty Python’s John Cleese, 72 years old, is in a relationship with 41-year-old Jennifer Wade; Charles Dance dated 25-year-old Sophia Myles when he was 58; 80-year-old Des O’Connor’s wife is 43-year-old Jodie Brooke Wilson.
The pattern is always the same: rich, successful older man pairs up with unknown young woman.
While it could be true love, it’s more likely she’s been seduced by the lure of celebrity, or the money and lavish lifestyle that the multi-millionaire Wood can offer.
And he has offered it to many women, all young enough to be his daughters, since he separated from his wife of 24 years, Jo.
His crepey skin stretched across his thin, boney face, his sun-damaged hand reached for her slender knee, his turkey neck wobbled in anticipation of a night of passion. One can only imagine that when they did make love, Miss Humphreys laid back and thought of the Bank of England.